Total Eagle

the least enticing subject line ever

2008-08-05T01:44:00.002-04:00

Benjamin Creme

2008-07-26T20:01:00.002-04:00

I saw this poster when I was in San Francisco last weekend. I can't think of a better alias than "Benjamin Creme".

How To Make a Scorpio Fall in Love With You

2008-07-25T00:03:00.006-04:00

This was super fun — an instructional video I did with my friend Meg. I got to overturn not one but two tables, once in front of small children. And the world gets to see how horribly pale I am. Enjoy! By the way, I'm not actually a Scorpio.

Grown by frogs, for frogs

2008-07-11T18:55:00.003-04:00

Every time I go to Rainbow Falafel, they have some absurd brand of tomatoes. Last time, it was "Hawk's Pride" — this time, "Frogmore".

Self-Defense For Women

2008-07-02T21:38:00.003-04:00

Lesson 1: How to stop a man from humping your foot.

too soon?

2008-06-21T16:27:00.004-04:00

I found this flyer on the ground a couple days ago. The Minnesota Bridge collapse is a perfect metaphor for a failing marriage. Both can be caused by decades of neglect, slow corrosion, and deterioration of steel structural elements.

Hawk's Pride

2008-06-11T13:55:00.003-04:00

That hawk is about to sink his talons into a pretty juicy-looking tomato. I'd be proud too.

Over The Top

2008-06-03T14:39:00.003-04:00

My friend Mike Still said that he hoped that "a network photoshops Barack and Hillary armwrestling and shows it tonight with the caption 'Over the Top.'"

I went the easy route and used a poster from the movie.

it Depends

2008-05-12T14:15:00.002-04:00

A picture of my bike as I run a few errands around town.
By "errands", I mean shoplifting adult diapers and trying to sell them on the street.

somebody please make this movie

2008-05-01T23:08:00.003-04:00

(edit: I should start googling shit before I post -- looks like someone already did a pretty good mashup of these two trailers. I still stand behind my photoshop job though.)

What you did not know about New York City

2008-04-24T00:17:00.004-04:00

There are a lot of things you don't know about New York City, even if you've lived here all your life.

Were you aware that legally, animals may and often do own property here?

Did you know that the random pair of shoes you see on the street may be an advertisement for a Doo Wop groups seeking new members?

Did you have knowledge of the fact that the bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich you love so much may have arrived at the deli in liquid form?

I'm fairly certain that you did not know these things.

Please visit my new blog, Little-known facts about New York City, for more amazing ~~and completely true~~ information.

Garfield Minus Garfield

2008-03-17T15:32:00.006-04:00

equals the best comic strip on earth.

Controversial video

2008-02-29T12:51:00.001-05:00

This is the video that Channel 102 was afraid to show at their monthly screening. They thought the public wasn't ready to hear the truth about the New York City Subway system.

*** update: Channel 101: NY (formerly Channel 102) has yielded to popular demand and agreed to screen Beyond Fact. The screening is Monday, March 2 at 7:00pm and 8:30 pm at Pianos in New York. Details here. Please come out and vote for our show, so we can continue freak people out with the truth. ***

**** update update: The first episode of Beyond Fact received enough votes to come back for a second month. Over the coming weeks, Rory, Craig and I will be uncovering another earth-shattering conspiracy to reveal to the public. Stay tuned to the Channel 101: NY site for details about the next screening ****

Satan is real

2008-02-26T00:15:00.002-05:00

Proof here, from NPR.

today's guest blogger: Emily Litella

2008-02-22T11:06:00.008-05:00

Los Angeles Times: Gray wolves will be fair game for hunters in parts of the northern Rocky Mountains after federal officials announced they would be taken off the endangered species list.

What's all this I hear about gay wolves being hunted? If a wolf wants to live his life as a homosexual, it's nobody's business but his own. To hunt them down because of their sexual orientation is just plain wrong, and I urge you all to write your congressman to demand equal rights all wolves, whether they're gay or lesbian or anything else. Thank you.

please read sarcasm into this

2008-01-28T11:46:00.000-05:00

I was just going through my work e-mail Drafts folder looking for something, and came across an old e-mail I never sent for whatever reason, and which I do not remember composing. Reading it now, I would like to think that the tone was totally sarcastic -- but sadly, I'm quite certain that it was not.

hi Dave;
Thanks much for the comprehensive update on where our publishing software is headed. We're excited to move into the next phase of content management.

I want to point out that I was never actually excited to move into any phase of content management.

I may already know too much

2008-01-25T18:23:00.000-05:00

For whatever reason, I get a fair number of messages mistakenly sent to my Gmail account. They're usually really boring: a registration notice from a community college in Southern California, some real estate crap from Ohio, etc.

I got an interesting one yesterday, though -- one that made me think I could get swept up into some kind of North By Northwest-style misunderstanding.

To: [redacted]@gmail.com
From: dispatch@[redacted].com
Subject: deepak
Date: January 24, 2008 12:41:51 AM EST

DEREK
I TRIED SEVERAL TIME TO CALL DEEPAK TO SEE WHAT TIME HE WAS GOING TO BE HERE WITH THE STERLING HTS LOAD FOR JIM BUT IT SEEMS AS IF WE HAVE THE WRONG CELL PHONE NUMBER FOR HIM AS I COULD NOT REACH HIM. HOPEFULLY HE IS HERE BEFORE JIM GETS HERE IN THE AM I KNOW THE ROADS WERE A LITTLE SLICK BUT HE SHOULD HAVE MADE IT BACK BEFORE I WENT HOME OR AT LEAST CALLED ME IF HE WAS GOING TO BED DOWN FOR THE NIGHT SO I KNEW WHAT TIME TO TELL JIM TO BE HERE
JIM COMING IN AT 5AM TO TAKE LOAD IN CASE IT IS HERE

This all seems to work out a little too neatly for Jim, if you ask me. He shows up at 5, the "Sterling HTS load" isn't there yet, and nobody suspects him of anything. If Deepak had a load to deliver, wouldn't he at least give a call if he was running late or had to "bed down" somewhere? Something is definitely fishy.

Anyway, if I suddenly disappear along with Deepak, I'd start the inquiry with Jim and Derek.

unusual candor from the MTA

2008-01-20T18:24:00.001-05:00

dark breakthrough

2008-01-16T15:32:00.000-05:00

Gothic scientists have made a huge step forward.

"FFREE COFEE"

2008-01-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

Who says there's no such thing as a ffree cofee?

just so you know where my head is at today

2007-10-26T12:14:00.001-04:00

please do not take the bread with the hands

2007-10-08T23:21:00.000-04:00

Take the other bread -- the bread that doesn't have hands.

internet trouble

2007-09-26T22:28:00.001-04:00

Sorry I haven't been posting much. I've been having some trouble stealing my asshole neighbor's internet.

I will kick your ass

2007-08-17T20:03:00.001-04:00

I just made this in Powerpoint.

Mel Torme in Brooklyn Rampage

2007-08-08T16:43:00.001-04:00

together at last

2007-07-31T21:10:00.000-04:00

daily life is a struggle

2007-07-22T23:33:00.001-04:00

Thanks, cell phone, now tell me something I didn't know.

Believe it or not...

2007-07-01T00:11:00.000-04:00

Meth Talk

2007-06-19T00:48:00.001-04:00

Guadalajara won't do

2007-05-24T11:54:00.000-04:00

The first of many "Steely Dan Thursdays"

Nice try, Brownback

2007-05-24T10:35:00.001-04:00

Whether you like it or not...

2007-04-10T16:39:00.000-04:00

Unknown precipitation falling right now

2007-03-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

It is slippery, whatever it might be.

Commercial commentary

2007-02-20T20:14:00.000-05:00

Sunita Deshpande = Jo Taylor
Craig Rowin = Brad Fitz-Sternman
me = Marcus Gladwell

editing and all technical stuff by Craig Rowin

more to come

Know this:

2007-02-15T13:33:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you come across some small bit of information that, while it doesn't have any immediate impact, sort of sits there in the back of your mind. One of those facts that subtly inflects your world view. Perhaps a new fork in the road opens at some later point. Perhaps not.

Facts such as: a quart of wolf urine can be delivered to your home within 24 hours.

eagle boiler

2007-02-01T23:43:00.000-05:00

I took this outside a restaurant just off 23rd that serves up a pretty decent boiled eagle. Or did, anyway -- before their eagle boiler went on the fritz.

car shaking

2006-11-12T17:37:00.000-05:00

Man, those Polish dudes love a good prank.

update: I can't read the comments on this one, because they're all in Polish, but things like "polskie świnie !!" and "ale chała...co to za parówy?!" -- combined with with monostar rating -- give me the impression they're not pleased. Maybe the guy in the video is some kind of national hero or is dead or something. By the way, that video hit the top 100 most viewed videos on YouTube (in the comedy category) that week I posted it.

But the Japanese (and general boobs enthusiasts) seem to have taken to this project a lot more enthusiastically.

"subtitling" project

2006-11-11T20:38:00.000-05:00

Here's a stupid-ass project I thought up: find the most popular foreign language clips on YouTube, add subtitles, and re-post them as "SUBTITLED". The idea is mainly to confuse people.

T-shirt idea

2006-09-25T00:04:00.000-04:00

Hitler alerts!

2006-08-29T15:30:00.000-04:00

It seems CNN is offering e-mail alerts on somc current news topics.
I don't know about you, but I was having a lot of trouble keeping on top of all this fast-breaking Hitler news.

the future of air travel

2006-08-10T12:23:00.000-04:00

... is going to be very awkward.

Bob Ayers, an associate fellow at Chatham House in London and vice president for homeland security for Selex Sensors & Airborne Systems of Italy, an arm of Finmeccanica SpA, said that "the best and optimal way to make sure no one carries something dangerous onto a plane is to make people fly naked and with no baggage."

(emphasis added)

Excellent advice in general

2006-07-25T11:25:00.000-04:00

I was just poking around the BBC News site, reading about the heat wave that's melting pavement in the UK. The "Have Your Say" section solicits readers' answers to the question "How has the weather affected you?"

Best response, by far:

Sit outside on the shaded side of the house with a glass of ale and chat to passers-by.

-- Andrew Parr, Croydon, United Kingdom

Duane Reade sells bread

2006-07-06T15:46:00.000-04:00

A very enticing pitch about the availability of bread at Duane Reade store #173.

Stereotypical crooks on the loose

2006-06-30T16:22:00.000-04:00

We got this scary notice from the police department the other day saying there have been some burglaries in the neighborhood.

... so I'm keeping an eye out for this guy:

Have we learned nothing from H.P. Lovecraft?

2006-06-13T18:37:00.000-04:00

According to this press release, the University of Calgary is sending researchers to investigate an "alien-like glacier" deep in the Arctic Circle.

Beauchamp discovered the spring in the mid-1990s when he noticed a yellow stain on the snow while passing over the Borup Fiord Pass in a helicopter. He eventually visited the site and noticed the strong smell of rotten eggs that indicated the presence of sulfur. Grasby then visited the in 1999 and 2001 and collected samples of the water and mineral deposits from the spring, which contained new forms of bacteria and an extremely rare mineral known as vaterite.

Somewhere, Cthulhu's laughter rings out.

Anal trivia

2006-06-06T11:59:00.000-04:00

For lack of anything better to do, I was rummaging around on our company's intranet when I came across an archive of trivia questions that had been in the newsletter. Among them, this one:

Question: Which is the only planet in our solar system to rotate on its side?
Answer: Uranus

As it turns out, you can substitute "Uranus" for any answer and it's hilarious:

Question: What is the name of the cat in the smurfs?

Question: Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

Question: What animal is responsible for the most human deaths worldwide?

Attention Rebecca Gould

2006-05-28T17:40:00.000-04:00

I got the most puzzling piece of e-mail at my work address. Is this some kind of spam? I've been racking my brains trying to remember if I know anyone named Rebecca Gould, and I'm pretty sure I do not. Anyway, if you're out there Rebecca, Coco Godebska is looking for you.

Hi R U [my name here], a friend of Rebecca Gould? If so please let her know that I am looking 4 her. My name is Coco Godebska.
thanx (or sorry 2 bother U)

bass wanted

2006-05-23T14:37:00.000-04:00

I think there's an e-mail address in here somewhere, so if you're a bass player, you should e-mail this guy.

Unless of course you're a pussy.

"It's fun to have an orgasm"

2006-05-12T00:37:00.000-04:00

One of the best subway rants I've ever seen.

Sound/video quality are quite poor -- had to shoot this with my cameraphone. After you watch, click in the comments for some transcribed highlights. It's funnier if you hear him first, though.

Shop-Vac vs. diaper

2006-04-23T01:01:00.000-04:00

A while ago Shop-Vac invited people to send in their most creative uses for said vacuum, offering prizes and posting the best ideas on their website. I contributed this, kind of imagining myself as some farty old retiree:

My wife and I like to take a road trip every spring in our RV. Usually it's just the two of us, but last year our daughter decided to join us with our 8 month old grandson. All was well, until about halfway through Montana, when the poor kid came down with -- well, let's just say he had some intestinal distress. Now under most circumstances it wouldn't be too hard to deal with in a large, well equipped RV like ours, except for the fact that our daughter is very environmentally conscious and likes to use cloth diapers. Well, you can imagine that after a few hours of rather soft stools, the diaper situation was getting a bit hard to bear. My resourceful wife hit on a great idea: why not use a Shop-Vac to remove the bulk of the matter from the diaper -- from there on it would just be a fairly easy rinse. At the next Wal-Mart, we picked one up, and needless to say, it worked beautifully. In fact, the diapers were so much easier to clean that my daughter was hooked, and I went down to the Home Depot and bought her one when we took her home to St. Louis. She swears up and down that this is the ONLY way to deal with cloth diapers, and once her friends saw it a lot of them made the switch too.

Never heard anything back, which is weird. I would think that feces-handling ability would be a big selling point in a vacuum cleaner.

What the older woman ahead of me in line today at Conway was buying:

2006-04-22T23:11:00.000-04:00

According to the register, she also bought something called "THONG W/ MESSAGE" but I wasn't quick enough with the cameraphone to catch it.

The President Needs Some Ribs

2006-03-10T11:02:00.000-05:00

This is from a while ago, but I think it remains relevant today.

Remarks by the President to the Press Pool
Nothin' Fancy Cafe
Roswell, New Mexico

11:25 A.M. MST

THE PRESIDENT: I need some ribs.

Q: Mr. President, how are you?

THE PRESIDENT: I'm hungry and I'm going to order some ribs.

continued on the official White House website

Stay Free!

2006-03-09T12:07:00.000-05:00

The Pranks issue of Stay Free! is out. One of the people on the cover is me.

I should point out that this was not an actual prank, but rather a photo shoot which was cleverly staged to simulate the appearance of a prank having just taken place. The effects technicians rented one of those expensive Hollywood pneumatic pie launching devices for the shot (no CGI here!) It uses a charge of highly compressed CO2 gas to propel the pie shell into the face at about 100 feet per second. Unfortunately, David's protective face mask slipped a little and he got a nasty little laceration across his forehead (ouch!) He was a trooper about it, though, and insisted we finish shooting before we put him into a cab down to St. Vincent's to get it closed up. Everyone on the set felt the authenticity was worth the bit of trouble. We think you'll agree.

Absolutely

2006-03-08T17:14:00.000-05:00

I've been finding myself lately using the word "absolutely" as a response to questions.

someone: You want to get some falafel?
me: Absolutely.

It's a sign that I'm not qualifying, restricting, or limiting my response in any way whatsoever. Especially when it's about falafel.

Human resources

2006-03-03T10:35:00.000-05:00

Here's something you can do in your office in the wintertime:

If someone in a nearby cubicle keeps coughing,
picture them having just taken a really massive bong hit.

Doody calls

2006-03-02T23:15:00.003-05:00

New York's Governor Pataki underwent an emergency appendectomy last week. He's still in the hospital, apparently suffering some complications of the digestive system.

Good news, though — according to this story on WNYC,
Pataki's getting his groove back.

New Yorkers, get out your survival kits!

2006-02-11T11:34:00.000-05:00

A BLIZZARD WARNING MEANS SEVERE WINTER WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. FALLING AND BLOWING SNOW WITH STRONG WINDS AND POOR VISIBILITIES ARE LIKELY. THIS WILL LEAD TO WHITE-OUT CONDITIONS... MAKING TRAVEL EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. DO NOT TRAVEL. IF YOU MUST... HAVE A WINTER SURVIVAL KIT WITH YOU. IF YOU GET STRANDED... STAY WITH YOUR VEHICLE.

Blizzard watch!

2006-02-10T11:51:00.000-05:00

Whiteout conditions! It's so exciting, THEY HAD TO PUT IT IN ALL CAPS!

CTZ009>012-NYZ071>081-102200-/O.CON.KOKX.BZ.A.0001.060211T1800Z-
060212T1700Z/SOUTHERN FAIRFIELD-SOUTHERN NEW HAVEN-SOUTHERN MIDDLESEX-SOUTHERN NEW LONDON-SOUTHERN WESTCHESTER-NEW YORK (MANHATTAN)-BRONX-RICHMOND (STATEN ISLAND)-KINGS (BROOKLYN)-QUEENS-NASSAU-
NORTHWESTERN SUFFOLK-NORTHEASTERN SUFFOLK-SOUTHWESTERN SUFFOLK-SOUTHEASTERN SUFFOLK-
1114 AM EST FRI FEB 10 2006

...BLIZZARD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM SATURDAY AFTERNOON THROUGH SUNDAY MORNING...

A BLIZZARD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM SATURDAY AFTERNOON THROUGH SUNDAY MORNING.

SNOW WILL BEGIN LATE SATURDAY AFTERNOON...AND BECOME HEAVY AT TIMES SATURDAY NIGHT. NORTHEAST WINDS WILL ALSO INCREASE SATURDAY NIGHT TO 25 TO 35 MPH WITH GUSTS UP TO 50 MPH...CAUSING BLIZZARD CONDITIONS ALONG WITH CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND DRIFTING OF SNOW.

BY THE TIME THE SNOW ENDS LATE SUNDAY MORNING...ACCUMULATIONS SHOULD AVERAGE 8 TO 12 INCHES...WITH LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS POSSIBLE. THE HIGHEST TOTALS ARE MOST LIKELY TO OCCUR IN AND NEAR NEW YORK CITY...AND ACROSS WESTERN LONG ISLAND.

A BLIZZARD WATCH MEANS THERE IS A POTENTIAL FOR FALLING AND OR BLOWING SNOW WITH STRONG WINDS AND EXTREMELY POOR VISIBILITIES. THIS CAN LEAD TO WHITEOUT CONDITIONS AND MAKE TRAVEL VERY DANGEROUS.

I don't think we're in Pflugerville anymore.

2006-02-06T14:42:00.000-05:00

Another tale from the annals of the University of Texas, Austin. I'm growing quite fond of the extreme gyrations of language the writer employs to keep this blotter PG-13.

JESTER CENTER EAST, 203 East 21st Street
Public Intoxication: A UT student, who was under the age of 21, was found “slouched over in a chair” that was located in the lobby of the dormitory. The student was not aware of his location and stated he believed he was in Pflugerville, Texas. At one point the student stated he was “in another realm.” The student was found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point he was a physical endangerment to himself. While walking to a patrol car, the student stated he believed he needed to exhibit an extreme involuntary physical reaction to the over-consumption of an alcoholic beverage. Upon walking the student to an area where he could perform such reaction, it was learned that he needed to perform another bodily function so he asked one of the officers to unzip his britches (pants). The police will provide a variety of services…this is not one of them. Occurred on 01-31-06 at 11:30 PM.

The hobbits of Staten Island

2006-02-04T00:48:00.000-05:00

really know how to party.

Uncrustables, part II

2006-02-03T00:33:00.000-05:00

I was thinking some more about Uncrustables (see this post) when it occurred to me that they really should use the Smiths song "Unlovable" for their commercial. It would open with:

I know they're Uncrustable,
You don't have to tell me...
Message received, loud and clear.

then the real kicker:

They have no crust on the outside,
Just delicious PBJ on the inside.

Random image of the day

2006-02-01T00:31:00.000-05:00

courtesy of Google Image Search

Hello, my name is Pig.

2006-01-25T00:27:00.000-05:00

From the always delightful UT Austin campus police blotter.
In this edition, "T" aborts a mid-morning wheel heist when confronted by an irate barber.

Theft: An employee of the Wooten barber Shop flagged down a University of Texas Police Officer after he observed an unidentified subject remove the front tire to a bicycle that was secured to a pole by the roadway. The employee exited the barber shop to confront the subject who abandoned the front tire and fled the area. The subject was described as a white male, 5’11” tall, 170 pounds, dark hair, a mustache and goatee wearing a black leather jacket with metal spikes and a pair of handcuffs hanging from it, a blue t-shirt with the words “Hello, My name is Pig” on the front of the shirt and a knit cap. An acquaintance of the subject who was still in the area, stated she only knew the subject by the name of “T.” Occurred on 01-17-06 at 9:52AM.

Bizarre roadblock

2006-01-25T00:24:00.000-05:00

Another on-air TV news graphic from my anonymous source.
I'm intrigued -- what was this roadblock? And exactly how bizarre was it?

"Rory Lockwood" is good too

2006-01-25T00:14:00.000-05:00

The "from" names spammers come up with are so clever, I can't bring myself to empty out my spam folder.

"Nutmeat"

2006-01-24T00:08:00.000-05:00

hypothetical conversation:

"Hey, what are you eating?"

"Oh, just this salad thing I got at the health food place"

"Yeah, but what's it called?"

"Uhh. It's some kind of, umm, nut thing. I can't remember the name."

"It looks like nutmeat."

"What?"

"It's called 'nutmeat'. Nut. Meat."

(long pause)

"Don't tell anybody, okay?"

Uncrustables

2006-01-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

I just became aware of these.

If Smucker's is to be believed (and they've never lied to me before) these sealed, frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are not merely "crust-resistant", but completely uncrustable.

My official biography

2006-01-14T23:57:00.000-05:00

can be found at http://www.officialdamian.com/about-Damian.html

Here's something I bet you didn't know:

At the age of 18, Damian finally escaped Romania on foot, with nothing but the clothes on his back and his pan flute. Damian made his way across Yugoslavia in four days and four nights, encountering blinding storms, treacherous mountains, hostile border checkpoints and land mines until reaching his desired destination, Greece.

Slang that will never make it into common usage

2006-01-13T23:55:00.000-05:00

I'm on it like Con Ed.

Law and Order

2006-01-11T22:36:00.000-05:00

It's supposed to rain today -- good weather to do some coloring...

...Law and Order style!

I suspect Eeyore

2006-01-10T22:31:00.000-05:00

Our Austin, Texas correspondent provides this excerpt from University of Texas campus police blotter:

UNIVERSITY TEACHING CENTER, 105 West 21st Street
Criminal Mischief: For two days in a row, an unknown subject left a “Winnie the _________” on the ground of a walled-in trash enclosure located on the west side of the building. Removal of that subject’s concept of refuse created a substantial inconvenience for the UT Staff member responsible for maintaining this area. Evidence was not gathered by the officer. Removal cost: $10.00. Reported on 01-04-06 at 9:00 AM.

Note the wry observation that "evidence was not gathered".

And who doesn't...

2006-01-10T22:13:00.000-05:00

...love incredible experiences in their lap?

A glob-viewing

2006-01-09T22:25:00.000-05:00

In a bit of a hyphenation frenzy, I tried to type the phrase "blog-viewing" (as in: "I'll put that into my blog-viewing rotation") into an e-mail. My computer helpfully offered the following suggestions:

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get over to my shrink for a blot-viewing.
(Rorschach, naturally.)

Gruesome find

2006-01-09T22:08:00.000-05:00

Another fine on-air news graphic from my anonymous friend. This one is going onto my refrigerator, since more often than not, there's a gruesome find in there somewhere.

The evolutionary turducken

2006-01-03T21:35:00.000-05:00

If I were a high school biology teacher, I would use a kind of turducken to teach about evolution. But instead of a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey, it would be like, a pig with a turkey inside it, which would be stuffed with a lizard containing a frog wrapped around a fish stuffed with a bunch of bacteria.

Of course, in the interest of giving equal time to "intelligent design", we would have to come up with some kind of TurJesus-ucken -- maybe some kind of loaf/fish/ghost combo.

Your basement may be on fire right now.

2006-01-03T21:31:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine who works at a TV station passed along
this frightening on-air graphic.

Overheard near the microwave at my office

2006-01-02T18:34:00.000-05:00

Guy #1 is taking a couple of huge sausages out of the microwave.

Guy #2: Wha'cha got there?
Guy #1: Homemade sausage my mom made.
Guy #2: Oh, yeah. My dad's a sausage-maker too.

“Total Eagle?”

2006-01-02T18:31:00.000-05:00

I don't have a proper introduction to this, how do you say, "blog", nor is the story behind the name "Total Eagle" particuarly interesting. (Think of it as a placeholder for a real name) So I'm just going to start right in.