Benjamin Creme

I saw this poster when I was in San Francisco last weekend. I can't think of a better alias than "Benjamin Creme".

How To Make a Scorpio Fall in Love With You

This was super fun — an instructional video I did with my friend Meg. I got to overturn not one but two tables, once in front of small children. And the world gets to see how horribly pale I am. Enjoy! By the way, I'm not actually a Scorpio.

Grown by frogs, for frogs

Every time I go to Rainbow Falafel, they have some absurd brand of tomatoes. Last time, it was "Hawk's Pride" — this time, "Frogmore". 

Self-Defense For Women

Lesson 1: How to stop a man from humping your foot.

too soon?

I found this flyer on the ground a couple days ago. The Minnesota Bridge collapse is a perfect metaphor for a failing marriage. Both can be caused by decades of neglect, slow corrosion, and deterioration of steel structural elements.

Hawk's Pride

That hawk is about to sink his talons into a pretty juicy-looking tomato. I'd be proud too.

Over The Top

My friend Mike Still said that he hoped that "a network photoshops Barack and Hillary armwrestling and shows it tonight with the caption 'Over the Top.'"

I went the easy route and used a poster from the movie.

it Depends

A picture of my bike as I run a few errands around town.
By "errands", I mean shoplifting adult diapers and trying to sell them on the street.

somebody please make this movie

(edit: I should start googling shit before I post -- looks like someone already did a pretty good mashup of these two trailers. I still stand behind my photoshop job though.)

What you did not know about New York City

There are a lot of things you don't know about New York City, even if you've lived here all your life.

Were you aware that legally, animals may and often do own property here?

Did you know that the random pair of shoes you see on the street may be an advertisement for a Doo Wop groups seeking new members?

Did you have knowledge of the fact that the bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich you love so much may have arrived at the deli in liquid form?

I'm fairly certain that you did not know these things.

Please visit my new blog, Little-known facts about New York City, for more amazing and completely true information.