Hitler alerts!

It seems CNN is offering e-mail alerts on somc current news topics.
I don't know about you, but I was having a lot of trouble keeping on top of all this fast-breaking Hitler news.

the future of air travel

... is going to be very awkward.

Bob Ayers, an associate fellow at Chatham House in London and vice president for homeland security for Selex Sensors & Airborne Systems of Italy, an arm of Finmeccanica SpA, said that "the best and optimal way to make sure no one carries something dangerous onto a plane is to make people fly naked and with no baggage."

(emphasis added)

Excellent advice in general

I was just poking around the BBC News site, reading about the heat wave that's melting pavement in the UK. The "Have Your Say" section solicits readers' answers to the question "How has the weather affected you?"

Best response, by far:

Sit outside on the shaded side of the house with a glass of ale and chat to passers-by.

-- Andrew Parr, Croydon, United Kingdom

Duane Reade sells bread

A very enticing pitch about the availability of bread at Duane Reade store #173.

Stereotypical crooks on the loose

We got this scary notice from the police department the other day saying there have been some burglaries in the neighborhood.





... so I'm keeping an eye out for this guy:

Have we learned nothing from H.P. Lovecraft?

According to this press release, the University of Calgary is sending researchers to investigate an "alien-like glacier" deep in the Arctic Circle.

Beauchamp discovered the spring in the mid-1990s when he noticed a yellow stain on the snow while passing over the Borup Fiord Pass in a helicopter. He eventually visited the site and noticed the strong smell of rotten eggs that indicated the presence of sulfur. Grasby then visited the in 1999 and 2001 and collected samples of the water and mineral deposits from the spring, which contained new forms of bacteria and an extremely rare mineral known as vaterite.

Somewhere, Cthulhu's laughter rings out.

Anal trivia

For lack of anything better to do, I was rummaging around on our company's intranet when I came across an archive of trivia questions that had been in the newsletter. Among them, this one:

Question: Which is the only planet in our solar system to rotate on its side?
Answer: Uranus

As it turns out, you can substitute "Uranus" for any answer and it's hilarious:

Question: What is the name of the cat in the smurfs?

Question: Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

Question: What animal is responsible for the most human deaths worldwide?

Attention Rebecca Gould

I got the most puzzling piece of e-mail at my work address. Is this some kind of spam? I've been racking my brains trying to remember if I know anyone named Rebecca Gould, and I'm pretty sure I do not. Anyway, if you're out there Rebecca, Coco Godebska is looking for you.

Hi R U [my name here], a friend of Rebecca Gould? If so please let her know that I am looking 4 her. My name is Coco Godebska.
thanx (or sorry 2 bother U)

bass wanted

I think there's an e-mail address in here somewhere, so if you're a bass player, you should e-mail this guy.

Unless of course you're a pussy.

"It's fun to have an orgasm"

One of the best subway rants I've ever seen.

Sound/video quality are quite poor -- had to shoot this with my cameraphone. After you watch, click in the comments for some transcribed highlights. It's funnier if you hear him first, though.