New Yorkers, get out your survival kits!

A BLIZZARD WARNING MEANS SEVERE WINTER WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. FALLING AND BLOWING SNOW WITH STRONG WINDS AND POOR VISIBILITIES ARE LIKELY. THIS WILL LEAD TO WHITE-OUT CONDITIONS... MAKING TRAVEL EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. DO NOT TRAVEL. IF YOU MUST... HAVE A WINTER SURVIVAL KIT WITH YOU. IF YOU GET STRANDED... STAY WITH YOUR VEHICLE.

Blizzard watch!

Whiteout conditions! It's so exciting, THEY HAD TO PUT IT IN ALL CAPS!

CTZ009>012-NYZ071>081-102200-/O.CON.KOKX.BZ.A.0001.060211T1800Z-
060212T1700Z/SOUTHERN FAIRFIELD-SOUTHERN NEW HAVEN-SOUTHERN MIDDLESEX-SOUTHERN NEW LONDON-SOUTHERN WESTCHESTER-NEW YORK (MANHATTAN)-BRONX-RICHMOND (STATEN ISLAND)-KINGS (BROOKLYN)-QUEENS-NASSAU-
NORTHWESTERN SUFFOLK-NORTHEASTERN SUFFOLK-SOUTHWESTERN SUFFOLK-SOUTHEASTERN SUFFOLK-
1114 AM EST FRI FEB 10 2006

...BLIZZARD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM SATURDAY AFTERNOON THROUGH SUNDAY MORNING...

A BLIZZARD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM SATURDAY AFTERNOON THROUGH SUNDAY MORNING.

SNOW WILL BEGIN LATE SATURDAY AFTERNOON...AND BECOME HEAVY AT TIMES SATURDAY NIGHT. NORTHEAST WINDS WILL ALSO INCREASE SATURDAY NIGHT TO 25 TO 35 MPH WITH GUSTS UP TO 50 MPH...CAUSING BLIZZARD CONDITIONS ALONG WITH CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND DRIFTING OF SNOW.

BY THE TIME THE SNOW ENDS LATE SUNDAY MORNING...ACCUMULATIONS SHOULD AVERAGE 8 TO 12 INCHES...WITH LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS POSSIBLE. THE HIGHEST TOTALS ARE MOST LIKELY TO OCCUR IN AND NEAR NEW YORK CITY...AND ACROSS WESTERN LONG ISLAND.

A BLIZZARD WATCH MEANS THERE IS A POTENTIAL FOR FALLING AND OR BLOWING SNOW WITH STRONG WINDS AND EXTREMELY POOR VISIBILITIES. THIS CAN LEAD TO WHITEOUT CONDITIONS AND MAKE TRAVEL VERY DANGEROUS.

I don't think we're in Pflugerville anymore.

Another tale from the annals of the University of Texas, Austin. I'm growing quite fond of the extreme gyrations of language the writer employs to keep this blotter PG-13.

JESTER CENTER EAST, 203 East 21st Street
Public Intoxication: A UT student, who was under the age of 21, was found “slouched over in a chair” that was located in the lobby of the dormitory. The student was not aware of his location and stated he believed he was in Pflugerville, Texas. At one point the student stated he was “in another realm.” The student was found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point he was a physical endangerment to himself. While walking to a patrol car, the student stated he believed he needed to exhibit an extreme involuntary physical reaction to the over-consumption of an alcoholic beverage. Upon walking the student to an area where he could perform such reaction, it was learned that he needed to perform another bodily function so he asked one of the officers to unzip his britches (pants). The police will provide a variety of services…this is not one of them. Occurred on 01-31-06 at 11:30 PM.

The hobbits of Staten Island

really know how to party.

Uncrustables, part II

I was thinking some more about Uncrustables (see this post) when it occurred to me that they really should use the Smiths song "Unlovable" for their commercial. It would open with:

I know they're Uncrustable,
You don't have to tell me...
Message received, loud and clear.

then the real kicker:

They have no crust on the outside,
Just delicious PBJ on the inside.

Random image of the day

courtesy of Google Image Search