I don't think we're in Pflugerville anymore.

Another tale from the annals of the University of Texas, Austin. I'm growing quite fond of the extreme gyrations of language the writer employs to keep this blotter PG-13.

JESTER CENTER EAST, 203 East 21st Street
Public Intoxication: A UT student, who was under the age of 21, was found “slouched over in a chair” that was located in the lobby of the dormitory. The student was not aware of his location and stated he believed he was in Pflugerville, Texas. At one point the student stated he was “in another realm.” The student was found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point he was a physical endangerment to himself. While walking to a patrol car, the student stated he believed he needed to exhibit an extreme involuntary physical reaction to the over-consumption of an alcoholic beverage. Upon walking the student to an area where he could perform such reaction, it was learned that he needed to perform another bodily function so he asked one of the officers to unzip his britches (pants). The police will provide a variety of services…this is not one of them. Occurred on 01-31-06 at 11:30 PM.