please read sarcasm into this

I was just going through my work e-mail Drafts folder looking for something, and came across an old e-mail I never sent for whatever reason, and which I do not remember composing. Reading it now, I would like to think that the tone was totally sarcastic -- but sadly, I'm quite certain that it was not.

hi Dave;
Thanks much for the comprehensive update on where our publishing software is headed. We're excited to move into the next phase of content management.

I want to point out that I was never actually excited to move into any phase of content management.

I may already know too much

For whatever reason, I get a fair number of messages mistakenly sent to my Gmail account. They're usually really boring: a registration notice from a community college in Southern California, some real estate crap from Ohio, etc.

I got an interesting one yesterday, though -- one that made me think I could get swept up into some kind of North By Northwest-style misunderstanding.

To: [redacted]@gmail.com
From: dispatch@[redacted].com
Subject: deepak
Date: January 24, 2008 12:41:51 AM EST

DEREK
I TRIED SEVERAL TIME TO CALL DEEPAK TO SEE WHAT TIME HE WAS GOING TO BE HERE WITH THE STERLING HTS LOAD FOR JIM BUT IT SEEMS AS IF WE HAVE THE WRONG CELL PHONE NUMBER FOR HIM AS I COULD NOT REACH HIM. HOPEFULLY HE IS HERE BEFORE JIM GETS HERE IN THE AM I KNOW THE ROADS WERE A LITTLE SLICK BUT HE SHOULD HAVE MADE IT BACK BEFORE I WENT HOME OR AT LEAST CALLED ME IF HE WAS GOING TO BED DOWN FOR THE NIGHT SO I KNEW WHAT TIME TO TELL JIM TO BE HERE
JIM COMING IN AT 5AM TO TAKE LOAD IN CASE IT IS HERE

This all seems to work out a little too neatly for Jim, if you ask me. He shows up at 5, the "Sterling HTS load" isn't there yet, and nobody suspects him of anything. If Deepak had a load to deliver, wouldn't he at least give a call if he was running late or had to "bed down" somewhere? Something is definitely fishy.

Anyway, if I suddenly disappear along with Deepak, I'd start the inquiry with Jim and Derek.

unusual candor from the MTA

dark breakthrough

Gothic scientists have made a huge step forward.

"FFREE COFEE"

Who says there's no such thing as a ffree cofee?